Even more Wishes

Here are seven more wishes. I spent the entire day quilting yesterday and though I still have three more squares to work on, we are done with collecting:) The quilt has 80 squares in total. They are all 8 x 8 squares. Twenty of them are the white/silver pattern from the "Family" wish. Some have only one piece of fabric in the 8 x 8 square, some have four different pieces. They are all squares. As soon as I finish the last three squares, I will sew the squares together. I will take a picture the next time that I set them out. I expect that one more day of power quilting will get me through the quilt top and then off to the quilter it will go to finish with the "quilting" part of it. Bob's mom is going to do the binding. So, with these wishes and the 8 I have material for but no wish yet, it brings our total to 116 ( I think).

We are done collecting wishes! 116 in total!!!

OK, I now have 113 pieces of fabric and I am expecting 3 more. That will bring our total to 116 Wishes!!!!! Thanks to everybody who participated. I plan to finish the quilt top this weekend. This is very ambitious of me:) Here are 16 more wishes, so a total of 100 wishes. Some people have given me their fabric but are still working on their cards, so I will post them when I get them. I am also working on the scrapbook now too!

Loss of a Car & Eleven more wishes

Well I want to say a fond farewell to our trusty friend, our little Saturn SL. She rode off into the sunset with her new owners last night. We are now a one car family, that is until we can pick up my parents old car. We decided to sell the Saturn, buy my brother's boat (which will be a lot of fun next summer!!), buy my parents old SUV, which can tow the boat, and then when our lease expires (soon!) we will purchase/lease a new fuel efficient family vehicle. I have my eye on the Vibe, which is considered a compact car, but seems spacious enough to fit the three car seats in the back and our very large dogs in the way back, when necessary.

Also, I have 11 more wishes. That brings our total to 84 (I think). Bob and I are still planning to do at least one more each. I am expecting a few more through another exchange with some members of my two yahoo groups. To those of you who are mailing them out, I can't wait to get them and will be starting my quilt on Sunday!!

By the way, no new list yet.

Bob is still working on one, I am going to have him handwrite it. Here are two from him.



Two more wishes from me




Bob's cousins, Shelley, Jan and Kathy (OK, with some help from me)


Bob's aunt Joan


Bob's cousin's daughter, Brandi


My very good friend, Tracey


My Uncle Pat and his family (with some help from me)


My Uncle Tom and his family (with some help from me)


My Aunt Kay and her family (with some help)

6 More Quilt Squares!

After ordering the album, I decided that we must finish our squares as well. Bob is still putting the "finishing touches" on his two squares, and I plan to do one more but I don't yet have the fabric. I also forgot about the last one, which was never moved to my quilting box. By the way, I am still collecting squares!! I have 73 in my hand. Bob has two more almost completed. I will do one more. That leaves 24 more to collect:) I am going to start the scrapbook as soon as I get it in the mail.

Here is one of mine, this is the same square that I mailed out to other families that I exchanged squares with.



Caelan's two squares



Garrett's two squares



A Delton family, who is also in the process of adopting from China

Adoption Update

Well, passports have arrived for everybody. We are ready! Now all we need is our Lia:) Our agency has matched 33 children from this current list of waiting children. There are still 5 children waiting on the website, but I am pretty sure they are done making calls from the current list. Last I heard they were expecting a new list at the end of this month or November. Will Lia be on this list? I think that it is a possibility, but I am not planning on it. To pass the time, I plan to finally get started on the scrapbook and quilt for Lia. We have now been waiting for just about 7 months (remember- average wait time is 8 months:)).

The kids are doing well in school. Caelan said that her day goes so fast and she is never ready to come home. She had her first field trip today, but siblings are not allowed, so I wasn't able to help out. I volunteer in her classroom once a week and am the aide in Garrett's "Good Shepherd" class- a Catholic religious education class, which also meets once a week. Preschool is going well for Garrett as well. He is doing better than I expected, though Picture Day this week was very traumatic for him. I am not sure why- he is a ham at home.

Oh, I have a JOB. Yes, I was just hired by Sylvan Learning Center to work as an online tutor. It will likely be 10 hours a week or so, but I can do it from home in my PJ's. Tutoring math 3rd- 9th grade level. I haven't officially started, I just send in my paperwork and then have training to do before actually tutoring students. It will be interesting- but the extra money will go directly towards the adoption trip.

100 Wishes: Wish #62-67

Six More Wishes, getting us to 67 wishes. I just ordered a scrapbook today so that I can start organizing the wishes. I am starting to look through quilt patterns. I want to make an easy quilt. I know how I get when I have projects that are difficult to complete- they never get done. Easy. I need an easy quilt pattern. BUT- I still need more, so if you haven't sent one yet- I would still LOVE your squares!!!

This is from my very best childhood friend, Beth. Note the leaves on her fabric and the picture of the two of us buried in leaves- we were probably five years old:) Thanks, Beth!



Beth's mom, Mrs. Lawson also sent a square.


An Indiana family with an April, 2007 Log in Date


Mr. and Mrs. Drainville, friends of my parents


My Aunt Jane and Uncle Tom


Marilyn and Jack Kosiorek, Friends of my parents and my Godparents

Play: Unplugged

I found a great new book. It is called Unplugged Play: No Batteries. No Plugs. Pure Fun. You can read about it here.

I do not like the kids to watch TV. When they do, it is limited to an hour or less and really only to preschool shows. Caelan might watch a movie on the weekends, but by the time she gets home from school, she plays with Garrett, we eat, take baths and read, it is time for bed. So she watches no TV during the week. I know that she is probably the only child in her first grade class who has never seen "Hannah Montana."

The TV drives me a bit batty. I can't really describe it, but if the TV is on, I get very irritated. Garrett is the same way. Bob tries to watch sports on the weekends and Garrett quite often, just turns the TV off. Now, don't get me wrong, I do like to watch a show or two once the kids are in bed. I haven't missed an episode of Grey's Anatomy, The Office, or Lost. We even recently got cable (really only because of the cheap package deal w/ the phone and high speed internet). We could certainly do without cable.

Well, I knew that this winter may pose some challenges for me in keeping Garrett busy and entertained, since we won't have Caelan around all day. I was skimming through my library and found the book. Many of the ideas are sort of common sense- but on those days when I feel a bit brain dead and run out of ideas, this book is full. I think that I will jot down some notes or even order myself a copy. Shucks, no I will not. Don't forget #10 on my "The New Washing Machine" post.

The book has a section for independent/ mommy play and for playing with friends. I do need to make a bigger effort getting Garrett together with friends. Last year, I had a new years resolution that I would have a friend over for Caelan to play with once a week. It worked great, I think I will do the same with Garrett.

Article on "Crying it Out"

This is for you, Mom and you, Maura:)

Children Need Touching and Attention

From the Harvard University Gazette

Children Need Touching and Attention, Harvard Researchers Say
By Alvin Powell

America's "let them cry" attitude toward children may lead to more fears and tears among adults, according to two Harvard Medical School researchers.

Instead of letting infants cry, American parents should keep their babies close, console them when they cry, and bring them to bed with them, where they'll feel safe, according to Michael L. Commons and Patrice M. Miller, researchers at the Medical School's Department of Psychiatry.

The pair examined childrearing practices here and in other cultures and say the widespread American practice of putting babies in separate beds -- even separate rooms -- and not responding quickly to their cries may lead to incidents of post-traumatic stress and panic disorders when these children reach adulthood.

The early stress resulting from separation causes changes in infant brains that makes future adults more susceptible to stress in their lives, say Commons and Miller.

"Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently," Commons said. "It changes the nervous system so they're overly sensitive to future trauma."

The Harvard researchers' work is unique because it takes a cross-disciplinary approach, examining brain function, emotional learning in infants, and cultural differences, according to Charles R. Figley, director of the Traumatology Institute at Florida State University and editor of The Journal of Traumatology.

"It is very unusual but extremely important to find this kind of interdisciplinary and multidisciplinary research report," Figley said. "It accounts for cross-cultural differences in children's emotional response and their ability to cope with stress, including traumatic stress."

Figley said Commons and Miller's work illuminates a route of further study and could have implications for everything from parents' efforts to intellectually stimulate infants to practices such as circumcision.

Commons has been a lecturer and research associate at the Medical School's Department of Psychiatry since 1987 and is a member of the Department's Program in Psychiatry and the Law.

Miller has been a research associate at the School's Program in Psychiatry and the Law since 1994 and an assistant professor of psychology at Salem State College since 1993. She received master's and doctorate degrees in human development from the Graduate School of Education.

The pair say that American childrearing practices are influenced by fears that children will grow up dependent. But they say that parents are on the wrong track: physical contact and reassurance will make children more secure and better able to form adult relationships when they finally head out on their own.

"We've stressed independence so much that it's having some very negative side effects," Miller said.

The two gained the spotlight in February when they presented their ideas at the American Association for the Advancement of Science's annual meeting in Philadelphia.

Commons and Miller, using data Miller had worked on that was compiled by Robert A. LeVine, Roy Edward Larsen Professor of Education and Human Development, contrasted American childrearing practices with those of other cultures, particularly the Gusii people of Kenya. Gusii mothers sleep with their babies and respond rapidly when the baby cries.

"Gusii mothers watching videotapes of U.S. mothers were upset by how long it took these mothers to respond to infant crying," Commons and Miller said in their paper on the subject.

The way we are brought up colors our entire society, Commons and Miller say. Americans in general don't like to be touched and pride themselves on independence to the point of isolation, even when undergoing a difficult or stressful time.

Despite the conventional wisdom that babies should learn to be alone, Miller said she believes many parents "cheat," keeping the baby in the room with them, at least initially. In addition, once the child can crawl around, she believes many find their way into their parents' room on their own.

American parents shouldn't worry about this behavior or be afraid to baby their babies, Commons and Miller said. Parents should feel free to sleep with their infant children, to keep their toddlers nearby, perhaps on a mattress in the same room, and to comfort a baby when it cries.

"There are ways to grow up and be independent without putting babies through this trauma," Commons said. "My advice is to keep the kids secure so they can grow up and take some risks."

Besides fears of dependence, the pair said other factors have helped form our childrearing practices, including fears that children would interfere with sex if they shared their parents' room and doctors' concerns that a baby would be injured by a parent rolling on it if the parent and baby shared the bed. Additionally, the nation's growing wealth has helped the trend toward separation by giving families the means to buy larger homes with separate rooms for children.

The result, Commons and Miller said, is a nation that doesn't like caring for its own children, a violent nation marked by loose, nonphysical relationships.

"I think there's a real resistance in this culture to caring for children," Commons said. But "punishment and abandonment has never been a good way to get warm, caring, independent people."

Off to School

Today was the first day of school. Caelan is starting first grade. This will be the first time that she goes all day, last year we chose to send her to the half-day kindergarten. Garrett started a two- morning a week, three-year- old preschool. I feel like they were both ready, and neither showed any sign of nervousness as I walked out of the rooms. I guess I expected that:) I am sure that Caelan will do well, but I do worry about Garrett. Surprisingly, though, he was actually playing with other kids as I was getting ready to go.

Here is Caelan. She fell off her bike on Sunday night. Yes, right on to her lip. So she is puffy and scratched up. But pretty excited about her lunch box.



And little Bubba. He usually wakes up on the wrong side of the bed (an understatement). He is not a morning person. Today he was as cheerful as can be and was really excited about school.



Here they are together in front of Caelan's school. I also have a picture with Bob. Bob is the principal of Caelan's school, so at least I know that she is well looked after. In fact, I am pretty sure Caelan's teacher will tire of seeing Bob's face pacing the first grade hall.




Caelan at her desk.



Garrett playing (gasp) with other kids. He usually takes a while to warm up. Not today.



Well, with both of the kids at school, I will have two mornings a week to manage as I please. As the weather gets cooler, I do think that we will join the YMCA- I will work out. I also plan to volunteer in both of their classrooms. Of corse, we should have Lia by the end of the school year- but for today I am going to sip my coffee, use the computer, and RELAX!!!

A New List

I am so happy to say that our agency has just received a new list of waiting children. Their last list came in June. As I mentioned in the "Update on our little Lia" post, we are part of the waiting child program which means that Lia will come to us with some type of "special" need. It is very unlikely that Lia will be part of this current group of children, as there are many people who have waited longer than us, but I can hope, right? So far we have only been waiting for 5 months. They generally get large lists every 2-3 months, which would put the next list in October/November. At that point we will have waited for 8 months, the average wait time for our agency. This new list puts us one step closer to Lia. I am so excited about this list and about all of the waiting families just days away from seeing their children. Maybe now I can give my computer a much needed break:)